Bathtub Drinkers Remember You
Stupid things become clearer
Making important things seem less important somehow
Orange chocolate ovoid squashed under Bernadette’s careless ass
One minute you are being seduced
Hippie girls in a Mondale time freeze
Pet you with their metamorphic rock strokes
Stay home with you’re cacti collection
Old Fiasco Dry bottles on the white of the tub
Who is Captain Tom, and when will he join El Alto for a stab at the micro-fiche record of glory that might be found, somewhere, VCR head cleaner cramming for that astro-physics test. I n eed to relax. It only took one small accusastion.
Ooopen Letter to:
sStar nose mole brain mappers,
Dear Gobb of placental dru dru,
I agree that the spade like hands of this peculiar mammal does not represent a great deal of neuronal territory. I just wanted to voice in this open letter my disdain for the overly polemical tone of a recent sneaky shit article published in Newton’s Bathtub. Why are the other moles of the world considered so ‘special ed’ when it comes to their evolutionarily hard won permutations over the years? I love the star nosed mole like my own sister, but i won’t turn away and pour myself a drink while others take a dump on the rest of our worlds moles.
Doffing something,
Domenic Maltempi
Don’t fall in love in Denver, and other short tales
Power of Cockroachgetty
By: Dom Maltempi
The Neck Breaker
I often confused him for the guy
who had
an out-of-body experience in
Panama
But that was Grippo, and she
bought him Kools and Showed
him her body
Tolerated his hatred for the way
she sipped breakfast milk
The left over portion stained
yellow with Pops
The strumpets were selling diet lemonade outside the opera house. A leggy vendor with a hairy chest protested to a few uninterested bomb squad blokes reassigned on an afternoon riddled with sun-rain and wax paper litter mysteriously omnipresent along the gorgeous Sculpture garden that greeted one on their way to the opera house.
After finishing her jumping jacks by the rear entrance of the Half-a-Hill recycling plant, Tiwara was ‘served’ with papers indicating her role in the “mud for boots scandal.” It was just then that the governor had brandished what he later called an amnesty-pennant, proclaiming that the thirty year old women was a secret fund raiser for the state, and deserved immunity for her minor role in the aforementioned scandal. No one knew exactly why bartering a precious Mohawk Valley mud for low quality work boots was such a malodorous to-do.
Aunt Theresa had fibbed with a doddering wink to her secret fan base assembled in the Barnko Center for basic physics. There was never a second Parrot by the name of Lotsey, allegedly rescued from a flooded car garage. The only bird she had owned was Perry. Perry was a white bird with no appetite for speaking. The department of homeland security sent a singing telegram to her summer apartment in Harrisburg, PA. Citizens were outraged that Aunt Theresa was summering in yet another summer apartment in an even less desirable or shall we say peculiar location.
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