PM DAWN SKETCH
Featuring the music of PM dawn… Two men with butterfly nets walk into a local pizzeria that appears to be doubling as some sort of game show set. Friends try to guess their friends favorite or most played song within the last month. Each friend has a slice of pizza and a permanent marker. They have to write the name of the artist/band on the crust.
If the answer is incorrect the friend who guesses wrongly must eat the crust while performing the song with one of the pizza chefs. One of the pizza workers, a younger person on the lower end of the chain of pizza command is angered that the world famous crust of PM Dawn Pizza is being vandalized by kids with shitty music taste. He suggests that no recipient of the gold crustoff of Lower Milwaukee deserves to be besmirched by kids who listen to shitty music, or their dumb ass friends that don’t know any better.
Top Pizza Chef: (holding a skinny microphone, and shaving fake hair from a doll with dough eyes) PM Dawn Pizza welcomes all of you friends today. Are you ready to write on some award winning crust? Do you know which band or hot top single has been the one most played by you’re best friend? Do you really have a best friend? Teardrops and termites you block heads….you know what this is about? Not love, no, music and pizza, pizza and music. We’ve gathered the correct answers from the contestants. If you guess the correct artist or song, we name one of our Sunday Calzone specials after you and your friend, hyphenating you’re names into calzone fame, and both you and that friend will get a free Sunday meal for fourteen weeks and you’re face on our place mats.
Two friends sit at a table spotlighted for a few seconds. One of them has a pizza with the crust facing the other who holds a large permanent marker. A few snippets of songs are played. The friend not holding the marker attempts to bite at the slice.
Marker friend: No man, you can’t bite at the slice unless I guess wrongly what your most played or favorite song has been over the last month.
Top Pizza Chef: That’s right. You only eat the slice if the answer written on you’re curst is incorrect as you sing the wrong song with me.
Other friend: I got to eat the pizza with market on the crust if I’m wrong while singing with him if you fuck up?
Top Pizza Chef: But remember, the winning friends get fourteen free Sunday meals on us not to exceed ten dollars, and a calzone that will bear both their names, strengthening their friendship forever, or until it ends.
Younger pizza worker: (Not happy with contest, in mocking tone) Yeah, what a fab idea. That’s how the two guys from PM Dawn met. They’re probably not even friends anymore, or able to afford pizza.
Top Pizza Chef: Just clean the tables Jeff. You know putting down PM Dawn will send you right to the bread stick closet with Boof, and your dad owes a lot of money.
YPW: Fine, but eating crust with marker on it can make you a quadriplegic or deaf I think…
TPC: Alright Jeff, that’s all, and you won’t spread lies in this Pizzeria.
The spotlight hits the table of the two friends again, as songs are played. The marker holding friend agonizes to guess the right song, as people in the background are seen singing in a gloomy way with the TPC silently while their pizza is being written on.
Marker Friend: Its Denny’s such a flirt by Captain & Tennille.
Other Friend: No! I’ve never listened to that song in my life. I just mentioned it over the phone because of the VH1 special, and now I’ve got…
TPC: Sing the song with me while you’re friend writes the song title on the crust. Make you’re way up here…what’s your name?
The song Denny’s such a flirt is played, while a number of people nail pizza crusts with artists or song titles to a corkboard. The other friend walks up only to find that the TPC has been tackled by YPW. YPW tries to force marked up crusts into TPC’s mouth as they wrestle on the floor. PM Dawn’s: Set adrift on Memory Bliss song plays loudly as people in scene feign blindness and walk off the stage.