I went to the zoo this past Sunday with my immediate family and good friends. I had not been to the zoo in over a decade. I have lost some critical intelligence since that time, but never mind that. I was hung over but happy. My friend Mike and I sat way in the back of a Dodge minivan joking, while the women led the way. I had to take a dump in a BP station close to
. Everyone called me ‘papi.’ I bought mixed fruit Chicklets which were disgusting. I sang a song about the BP gas station that I was inspired to sing not only because of my bowel relief, but from a song heard booming that went something like: “That’s my philosophy, watching you’re ass squirm when you hugging my tree.” Well, my version of this song incorporated the BP, and my defecation, and a few other things as well.
Seriously, if you want to enjoy the Bronx Zoo, go on an overcast day in Late April. If you are hung over or enjoy doing so, get a little zooted, and high as a kite pushing your baby in her stroller, ask the ticket girl if the Cheetahs are asleep, and demand to see proof. All in all, the experience was a fun and rewarding one. I have an old memory of ‘smelling the skunk’ in the children’s zoo…a little fountain like structure that invites you to smell an approximation of that stinky defense mechanism. I remember seeing the same old fountain when I was a kid and last at zoo.
Ok, The lion, a solitary creature probably going fucking crazy because there is nothing to hunt. He might as well be the king of flummery or Smiles, but the question that took quick little stabs in mind was: IS THIS LION MIC(ED), that is, did the Zoo, or some practical joker pretending to be employed by the zoo place a microphone on the lion, amplify him for the sake of show? The lion did indeed roar the day we saw him. It was a satisfying sound that scared not a few adults, and many children. Was the king of the zoo mic(ed)?